At some point in our lives we all make mistakes, right? Some of us wishes never to make one because it shakes our self-esteem and it can leave us with a broken spirit. But sooner or later we all make THEM. This time it happened to me . . . And as I’m writing this journal I’m trying to figure out how should I handle it.
I always fear this moment—the day I would make a mistake on one of the commissions and fail to meet the commissioner’s expectations. Recently, I made a stupid-stupid mistake and I’m feeling crappy about it. It sucks to fail and make a mistake that could have been avoid if I only would have taken the time to pause and review all the information carefully. It is not as if don’t do it, to be honest, I’m a freak and I double-check everything most of the time to avoid this situation. What happened this time? The reference pictures submitted by the commissioner seem consistent in color, so, to me the colors for the character was plain clear that I didn’t think it was necessary to check with the commissioner on that.
I’ve always hated to change my routine because I have this feeling that every time I change it something bad happens . . . Well, I think I’ve been proven right. Usually I don’t work on projects with a deadline because I know making a plush can take longer that the time I set for each commission but this time I accepted because I thought the design wasn’t too complex to finish within the time frame. Next thing that I changed or better say I didn’t do was to send WIP pictures, the reason for that is that I didn’t have the time to spare for taking pictures [Believe it or not taking pictures and replying to emails takes a lot of time]. What else . . .I always try to ask as many questions as possible to make sure I got everything right; this time I foolishly thought I got everything right since there wasn’t many details to consider. The only thing I did as before is to gather some more info on the internet for the character but apparently the information I got was the wrong one. At the end I got the wrong color for the hair . . . One of the most important parts of the character!
I’ve been feeling crappy for this mistake . . . I wish I could bury myself and forget about it but that would be the easy way out. I have high expectations for myself and pride hurt when I make a mistake. However, I would like to take a different approach and instead of beating myself up, drowning into a pool of self-pity or looking for excuses I just would like to acknowledge my mistake, learn from it and look for a solution.
My biggest challenge is to acknowledge the mistake and accept the fact that I fail to meet the expectations. It sucks big time but it is what it is. I don’t know how this is going to affect me and how it is going to affect the way other commissioners see us but whatever comes out of this I’ll try to take it the best way I can.
I decided to write down all these feelings, so, I can release them and move on. I know this might not be the only time I’ll make a mistake; in fact, this might be one of many since I’m not perfect but I’m hoping that the next time I make a mistake to have a different attitude toward the situation and deal with it in a better way than today.-
Here is the little fellow: